I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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