You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
