I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
