So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
