I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize