They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
