dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
