she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
