GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
