Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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