The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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