drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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