I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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