i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize