Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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