I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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