I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize