i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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