I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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