ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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