Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
