now i know why i became what i already was.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
