i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
