I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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