the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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