where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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