And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I stole a fireplace last night.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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