it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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