Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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