I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize