sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We left the knife in your bed.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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