i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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