I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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