dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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