god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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