I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
farters have to be the big spoon...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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