You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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