She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Semen is not good for contacts.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
