there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
