What did we do last night that was yellow?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
