Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
