thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
