How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Oh god it's open bar.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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