she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
