Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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