I wanna passion pit in your ass
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
