I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wish i was in the wii world.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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