Cold hands, warm shart.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
