Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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