It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
