I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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