Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
