i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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