Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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